Blogging fun since 4th May 2001!

Blogging fun since 4th May 2001
"This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. This is my drug and my vice."

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Towel Day - May 25th

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR TOWEL YET?


Do you know where your towel is? If you sass that hoopy Douglas Adams, start preparations for Towel Day. May 25th. And bring those Pan Galactic Gargleblasters.

My preparations for Towel Day have already started!
1. Towel is now soaking in nutrients.
2. Call everyone on my phone list. Strags included.
3. Organize a Towel Meet. Aint that hoopy.
4. Take lots of pictures with everyone's towels.
5. Get wasted on Pan Galactic Gargleblasters.

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A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine soredly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a brush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

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