Oh yegawds.

Singaporeans are the rudest customers ever.

Send flames to me, spineless jellyfish. If you can even string a decent sentence together.

Before you leave your TCS Channel 8 existence, before you leave your perfect Channel U 'life' and barge into my space with your "tah jai jiang se moh?" into the rest of the civilised world.

For the love of all things decent.

Don't.

Baristas are human, biatch.

People who stand behind the counter are serving you, not enslaved to you.

The correct response to "Hi! How are you today!?" is NOT a blank stare into space.
Neither is a slow blink THEN rolling of your eyes.
How does "Wait!" sound like an appropriate answer?
Oh, let's not forget the hand in the air reponse.

Talk to this hand, biatch.

Shouting irrationally at me because I refuse to let your smelly misbehaving dog sit on our chairs will only make pity you.
Snapping your fingers in the air to get my attention will only make me mock you.
Using your index finger to call me over will only make me mock you and your family.
Telling me you've been to stores all over the world, then ordering an "Ice Cappuccino" will only make me ask if you were referring to a Frappuccino, perhaps?
Then getting angry at me because, god forbid, How DARE I suggest that you do not know what you want?
How DARE I suggest that we've never served "Ice Cappuccino", ever. Yes, even in those stores you've been to, "overseas lah! not like here!".

And your children?

They will grow up like you, poor things.

Graceless, heartless, thoughtless, rude.

Much like you.

All of you.